The Grief And Belief Connection

The Grief And Belief Connection

Spiritual Insights On Life After Death
That Bring Hope, Comfort & Peace To The Grieving!

by Bob Olson

In approximately eight years of investigating the possibility of life after death, I have discovered convincing evidence that there really is an afterlife, that we really do continue to exist after death, and that our loved ones continue to watch over us and guide us in the spirit world. But this is just the beginning of my discoveries.

More recently, after sharing this evidence with thousands of people around the world through my books, websites and articles, I have recognized a direct connection between one’s level of grief and one’s level of belief in an afterlife. I call it The Grief And Belief Connection.

I didn’t always believe in life after death. In the past, whenever I would lose a loved one to disease, tragedy or suicide, I would always wonder if an afterlife existed. But thinking about the possibility of life after death never eased my grief because I was a skeptic. In fact, I was the worst kind of skeptic— a cynical one. This didn’t mean my mind was closed to the idea of life after death, but I needed evidence. Yet the intangible and mystical quality of the evidence for an afterlife only instigated my cynical skepticism even more.

As a private investigator with a degree in Criminology, evidence was my world. When I investigated murders, the courts only cared about the evidence I uncovered that proved or disproved the accused’s guilt. When I handled domestic investigations, clients hired me to obtain photographic and videographic evidence of their cheating spouses. And when I investigated personal injury cases, lawyers hired me to obtain witness statements, photographs and material evidence to present at trial. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I was suspicious, to say the least, of the vague metaphysical evidence that exists for an afterlife.

The strongest evidence for an afterlife consists of the following (all of which I found critically lacking in credibility): psychic mediums who claim to communicate with spirits, individuals who believe they had a near-death experience, hypnotic regressionists who declare a method for past-life travel, and individuals who believe to have experienced an after-death communication from a loved one in spirit. Such outrageous claims appeared less as evidence of life after death and more as naïve nonsense from people who either need extra attention in their lives or need something supernatural to increase their faith. To this P.I. the evidence amounted to a bunch of hooey.

Then I visited a psychic medium who turned my life upside-down. My brother-in-law had insisted she was legitimate, so I became fixed on proving her a phony. I booked an appointment for a one-hour reading. The one hour turned into three, me sobbing like a lost child for half of it. The evidence was too overwhelming, the details too accurate. My belief that such evidence was unbelievable rapidly crumbled.

The spirit messenger delivered names, dates and memories about my life she could not possible have known: that I played a saxophone solo in my middle school band concert; that my birthday was in May and that my father died during that month, that my mother’s name was Carol, my sister’s name was Bonnie and my wife’s name was Melissa; that I was considering getting a dog, specifically a yellow lab; and that I had a brother named Brian who wasn’t really my brother (Brian was my cousin who moved in with my family when he was ten and I was thirteen because his parents died in a plane crash). And yes, she knew about the plane crash, too.

To this day, the medium still has no idea why she kept going that day beyond the normal one-hour reading. Yet by the end of the third hour, the evidence of an afterlife was stacked too high for me to remain in my skeptical denial. This stranger-medium could not possibly have guessed all these details about my life. She had to be getting her information from spirit. No, not just any spirit—my father. Only he knew the details of the messages she conveyed, or should I say, relayed. Not even Melissa, my wife whom I began dating when I was fifteen years old, knew all the details of these secret memories. They were private, sacred to me. I had not shared them with anyone, not even in a journal.

Having been a recently published author at the time, I decided to launch an investigation into life after death as the basis for my next book, beginning with mediumship. I wasn’t hasty. I spent four years researching and experiencing the metaphysical, always maintaining the healthy skepticism I had developed as a private eye. Over the course of those four years, I received over one hundred readings from some of the best psychic mediums in the world. I met credible people with believable stories of near-death experience, and learned there are thousands of documented cases that all tell similar accounts of their afterlife journey. I even had my own successful past-life regression, stupefying me with not just the unexplainable knowledge I had about that past lifetime but also the physical and emotional roller-coaster ride I suffered during that regression.

After four years of limitless interviews, research and personal experiences, I found myself asking, “What’s the purpose?” How does this evidence help people? The significance got lost in my hurry to find the answers. Now that I had them, I forgot the question. I even wondered if I was being irresponsible by exposing the public to my discoveries through my writing and speaking. Then, all at once, people started dying—nobody close to me, but rather, people I knew through other people. And the answer I sought hit me like machine gun fire over the course of about ten months.

First, my friend, Kelly, lost her husband, Rick, at the age of 35 when a truck hit his car. He had pulled over on the highway to answer his cell phone, ironically for safety’s sake. He left Kelly and two children under the age of five. After the funeral and burial, I saw Kelly at the restaurant. She came at me like a wave, embracing me like she had been eager to speak with me all day.

“Bob, you have no idea,” Kelly began with a peaceful glimmer, “I am so grateful for the reading I had with that psychic medium a month ago. It has helped me get through this, knowing that Rick is still here, that he is all right. I talk to him and he has given me strength to get through this,” she acknowledged.

A few weeks later my wife, Melissa, and I got an email from Kelly’s brother, Danny, and his wife, Caroline (my sister-in-law). They wanted to thank Melissa and I for the spiritual insights they had learned through us from our work with psychic mediums. Our influence had got them to watch John Edward’s TV show, Crossing Over With John Edward, quite regularly before the accident. They wrote that Rick’s death was somehow easier to deal with due to what they had learned.

The same year our friend, Mary, lost her sister, Dianne. Mary had been to see one of my recommended psychic mediums a few months prior. She hugged me tightly in the receiving line at the wake, declaring her knowing that her sister was not dead, but was alive in spirit. Knowing is level of belief that results from learning about the afterlife and seeing, hearing or experiencing the evidence personally until you “know” it is true… real. Mary looked forward to hearing from Dianne at her next reading.

A few months later my other sister-in-law, Jen, lost her grandmother. Nana was possibly her closest friend and mentor. At the funeral, Jen shared with me that she still talks with Nana all the time—because of what she learned through my work. She knows Nana is still with her. Jen told me she is glad Nana had the opportunity to read my book and attend an event I gave with five psychic mediums. Jen believes these things helped Nana with her passing.

The testimonials of Kelly, Danny, Caroline, Mary and Jen had a message for me: Learning about the afterlife gives hope, comfort and peace to the grieving. I now recognized that people’s grief is affected by this evidence regardless of whether they learn about the afterlife before or after they lose someone close to them.

The coincidence of all these testimonials coming within such a short span of time was not lost on me. But just to be sure the message sunk into my thick skull, spirit orchestrated a grand-finale of messages from behind the ethereal veil. I received twenty-two rapid-fire emails from strangers all over the world with similar messages as those from Kelly, Danny, Caroline, Mary and Jen, thanking me for my book and articles on the afterlife. Okay, I got it; learning about life after death helps people with their grief.

With this I developed the premise that there is a direct connection between one’s level of belief (in an afterlife) and one’s level of grief. So I took surveys, interviewed experts, eavesdropped conversations and spied Internet chat-rooms. It was unanimous: belief and grief are connected. The evidence was extensive, though unscientific. I had learned to accept that about the spiritual. Proof is subjective. Some people need more evidence than others before they believe. I understand. I was once one of those people.

Hence, I discovered The Grief And Belief Connection. While spiritual insight about life after death will not eliminate your grief, it can change your grieving experience from one of hopelessness, distress and fear to one of hope, comfort and peace. It is the difference between wondering where your deceased loved has gone, feeling a loss of connection with them and worrying if they are still suffering—OR—knowing your loved one is safely surrounded by the light and love of God, understanding that they are watching over you and can hear you speak to them, and believing that they are not suffering, but rather, celebrating their homecoming with those who had crossed over before them.

After more than four years of investigation, these are my conclusions. For me, it has made all the difference, which is why I have now shared them with you.


Bob Olson
Author / Editor


Into The Spirit World: Experiencing My Life Between Lives In A Spiritual Regression

Into The Spirit World: Experiencing My Life Between Lives In A Spiritual Regression

by Bob Olson

Eighteen months ago, I had an outstanding past-life regression. My session was so compelling that numerous people who read my article about it have traveled across the globe to have the same life-changing experience. But there was something about my session that I did not reveal in that article. What I held back was too sacred and personal to translate into words, and I needed time to contemplate it before sharing it with others.

Nancy Canning, the regressionist who led me through that experience, actually calls this session a Spiritual Regression. She calls it that because after guiding you through a past life, she then leads you into the spirit world “between” lives. So while the past-life experience is truly spectacular in itself, the goal of a spiritual regression is to allow you to see, feel and know what happens to us after we die and return to the spirit world. And this is the segment of my first session with Nancy that was initially too sacred for me to share in writing.


What happened that day wasn’t nearly as intense as what most of Nancy’s clients experience. But I was a skeptic so it didn’t take much to make an impact on me. I did leave my body after dying in that past life as a Celtic man named George in 1643. I did see George’s body getting smaller and smaller as I traveled higher and higher toward the spirit world. And I did actually arrive in the spirit world. But what happened next was even more amazing.

Most people who have a spiritual regression go through many of the same events as a person having a near-death experience-without actually having to die, of course. After leaving their body from a past life, they go through the tunnel and into the light; they are met by their spirit guide and deceased loved ones in spirit; and after visiting various levels of healing and preparation, they eventually travel to meet up with their soul group-the group of souls with whom we are the closest, with whom we learn and grow in the spirit world, and with whom we share many of the same lifetimes.

After meeting their soul group, many people then meet with the Council of Elders, master-level spiritual beings. I skipped most of the entry-into-the-spirit world experiences and went directly to the Council of Elders. There were reasons that I did this that are too complicated for this article, but suffice to say that it wasn’t disappointing for me. I was very excited to meet the Elders.


This segment of the experience was absolutely breathtaking. First of all, I was in the spirit world, which is everything near-death experiencers say it is. I felt immense love, warmth, safety and peace like I have never experienced on earth. I had no desire to go back to my prior life’s body. That would be like coming inside to a warm house filled with friends and family during a bitter-cold winter storm, and then choosing to leave that cozy, loving environment to go back into the blizzard. So there I was tranquilly absorbing this spirit world scene when suddenly, sitting before me was a group of advanced beings who emanated love and wisdom beyond measure and who promised to answer all my worldly questions. It was pretty cool.

So these seven beings of light, high-level spiritual masters, sat around an oval table with me. While they were only masses of light, I still had a slight knowing of their personalities, their body-like movements, and the most overwhelming sense that they loved me deeply. Their love was so intense that I burst into tears the moment I first felt it during the regression.

Once in front of the Council of Elders, I immediately felt that they did not judge me for the errors of my past life as George. In fact, I felt their parent-like compassion for me because I was seriously judging myself. While in their presence, I had what is known as a “past-life recall,” experiencing my previous life all over again but with crystal clarity of the triumphs and failures I had made as George. And once again, I underwent the emotional and physical responses initiated during my regression of that lifetime: I sobbed, I shivered, and I learned lessons that have still not escaped me a year-and-a-half later.

After the past-life recall, Nancy Canning attempted to guide me into what might be the most beneficial aspect of the spiritual regression-asking the Elders my life purpose, why certain people are in my life, and similar questions about my current lifetime that only spiritual masters can answer. Yet after finding out the purpose of two people in my life, I was too exhausted to go any further and I asked that we stop the session.

While I later had some regrets for not going further and getting more answers, I had a lot to contemplate from my three-hour session. After all, I entered into this experience expecting nothing significant to occur. Prior to this session, I believed that other people experienced past lives in regression, but I didn’t think I was capable of it myself due to my skepticism. Moreover, I certainly didn’t believe that I would ever experience the spirit world until my life was over. So it took me a long time to digest the life-changing events of this first session.


Recently I went back to Cape Cod, Massachusetts to have a second session with Nancy. This time, however, I wasn’t so interested in the past-life portion of the regression; I returned to finish what I had started a year-and-a-half earlier in my life between livesexperience. And Nancy delivered.

Interestingly, Nancy was sending out a letter to all her past clients that day. She had recognized that clients who have a second experience with her are able to move into the spirit world much quicker than was accomplished in their first session. This allows those people more time to experience the spirit world and to ask the Council of Elders questions. So Nancy and I were in alignment with one another on our goals for my second session.

Nancy has also increased the amount of time she gives to each session-by an hour! Initially it was three hours, but now each appointment is four hours long, allowing time at the beginning and end to talk and ask questions, while leaving three full hours for the regression.


While a four-hour session blows by like thirty minutes for the client, it is rather long for Nancy Canning because these spiritual regressions can be quite draining on her. Nancy is exceptionally clairvoyant, which allows her to actually see and hear what her clients are experiencing. Basically, she is going through many of the same experiences that her clients go through. And this requires a lot more energy of her than simply guiding her clients verbally.

For me-initially the skeptical client-Nancy’s clairvoyant abilities made my sessions more believable. Since I am not an exceptionally visual person, most of the information came to me as a knowing; that is, I just knew things. Nancy would ask a question and the answer just sort of popped into my mind. So anytime I would question if the answer I got was accurate, Nancy could confirm my answer by telling me what she had received clairvoyantly. Sometimes I asked what she was getting before telling her my answer to be sure my answers were not influencing her in any way. Every time, she and I had the identical answer. It was amazingly helpful, and I can’t imagine having such a session with anyone else for this key reason.


In my second session, I experienced a new lifetime, not George’s life again. This time I was a twelve-year-old boy named Tom. I didn’t know where I was located, but I did know it was 1563. I only told Nancy that it was the 1500s because my doubting consciousness got in the way again, telling me that 1563 sounded too much like my last regression in 1643. I guess that made me a doubting Thomas (sorry, I couldn’t resist). Later, after three hours of confirming that all my other answers were correct, I realized that the year 1563 must have been correct as well.

I arrived in that lifetime on the day my father died. My mother had already passed. I had a ten-year-old sister name Sally who I raised alone after my father’s death. This of course seems awful being that I was only twelve, but it was 1563 after all and according to Tom, “I did what I had to do.” I became a carpenter just like my Dad to make a living.

It isn’t surprising that my twelve-year-old mind did not know where I was located, but I did know what my house looked like, which was nothing to brag about. This is one of the few visuals I actually got. If I were imagining this whole story, I’d prefer to say that I was a rich and powerful prince-turned-king who lived in an ancient castle. But we lived in a stone house that wasn’t much bigger than my living room today. I saw a huge fireplace made of large stone and a wooden picnic-style table in the middle of the room. I could even feel that it was cold and damp inside. Oh well, so much for grandiose illusions of my imagination.

Nancy moved through my past life rather quickly since our goal was to get back to the spirit world experiences and this is the only route known in regression for getting there. I asked why we couldn’t just regress back to the womb in this lifetime and take the back door into heaven. Nancy said that approach had been attempted but for some reason didn’t work.

So Nancy progressed me to the next significant moment in Tom’s life, quickly bringing me to age eighteen when my sister was getting married. How I allowed Sally to marry at age sixteen, I’ll never know. But it felt like a happy occasion and I seemed to like her new husband. Then Nancy progressed me to the next significant age, which was twenty-three when my sister died while giving birth. Right there in Nancy’s office, my body quickly filled with intense grief, making my chest heavy with sorrow and my eyes gushing with tears. Nancy moved past it almost immediately, trying not to get too caught up in the suffering of that experience. The next thing I knew I was twenty-eight and getting married. After describing my wife, Nancy progressed me to the day of my passing. This is where things got weird.

I knew I had progressed to the age of forty-nine, but initially had no idea how I died. Then, as I sat in Nancy’s office recliner waiting for what came next, I felt something crawling down my left arm-in this life, not in my regression. I wasn’t sure if it was real because at times it felt more like the crawling was underneath my skin. I began to think it might be a very large spider, but New England doesn’t have spiders that weigh what I felt on my arm. Then Nancy asked me how I died and when the answer popped into my mind “from a spider bite,” the crawling sensation on my left arm instantly disappeared. I didn’t even mention anything to Nancy until after the session. Now I understood my life-long distaste for spiders (that’s another way of saying I run like a frightened child at the sight of one).


From there I quickly went into the spirit world, this time with more speed and ease than my first session. My spirit guide arrived and took me to the level for healing. This was a short stay since, according to my spirit guide, “Tom’s energy didn’t need much cleaning-he led a good life.” We then went directly to the Council of Elders.

Nancy hoped I could experience the entry-into-the-spirit world stages in this regression, but despite several efforts toward this aim, I wasn’t going anywhere. She had me ask my spirit guide why I wasn’t moving forward and his answer was that I had done this many times before and knew the experience well. He said I needed to move directly from healing to the Elders. So that’s what we did.

One of the wonderful aspects of this experience is getting to know your spirit guide. I had already done a lot of work in this area through other means, so we didn’t spend much time for this process, but I recommend it to anyone who would like to get to know the name, personality and very essence of the being who guides you through life. It’s one of the most valuable connections you can make.


Once in front of the Council of Elders, these wise beings made me aware of some issues I needed to work through in this lifetime. I needed to face some deep-seeded fears and the Elders did not hold back in teaching me this. My exact words when describing this to Nancy were, “They are beating me up pretty bad here.” But I had a smile on my face when I said it because, while they were being brutally honest in teaching me lessons I needed to learn, there was a feeling of peace and love and even humor in their lecture. While they communicated to me telepathically, I could feel a lighthearted teasing as they expressed their frustration with my stubborn skepticism, which apparently was holding me back a bit.

At one point, after the Elder’s attempts to break through this fear didn’t affect me, Nancy used a hypnotic technique for overcoming this kind of limiting belief, which seemed to succeed. While I have not had an opportunity to really test it, I am acutely aware of how this fear was affecting my life and now hope that I am free of it. I am most grateful to the Elders for bringing this obstacle to my awareness, and to Nancy for helping me overcome it. I really had no clue that this fear even existed, but now that it has become clear to me, it explains a lot.

Once past this issue, I was able to ask the Council of Elders numerous questions about my life purpose, my career direction, my level of advancement in the spiritual world and what my position (my job) is there as a spirit. I was even able to find out why my spirit chose to come into this lifetime, which unsurprisingly is related to learning about human fears that block our progress. In the end, I felt as if I learned a great deal about my human-self by learning about my spirit-self.


Nancy and I had prepared a list of questions at the beginning of the session so that she could direct me to ask them while in the presence of my guide and the Elders. When I had asked all the questions we had listed, I knew the session was complete. I thanked everyone for their guidance and Nancy led me out of the deep-trance state.

The four-hour session was over in what seemed like minutes. I came away fascinated and hopefully a little wiser, while also becoming aware of a leading obstacle in my life. And while I do not yet know if I have eliminated the fear-block we uncovered, I have learned from other spiritual experiences that clarity alone is often enough to promote unprecedented personal growth.

I left Nancy’s office that day feeling like a noodle. As I basked in the calmness of my mind, I looked forward to discovering the benefits that would unfold from this experience in the coming days, weeks and possibly months. While there is no way to predict what those benefits will be, I have had enough spiritual exploration to know that one doesn’t go through an experience like this without some kind of profound transformation of multi-faceted dimensions.

This was one of the most rewarding experiences I have had, and I highly recommend it to anyone interested in your past lives, “life between lives” or simply better understanding this life.

My warmest regards,
Bob Olson Magazine editor

Click Here To Read About Bob’s First Regression


Nancy Canning is a certified clinical hypnotherapist with a master’s degree in counseling psychology. She has over 22 years experience with belief systems, regression, intuition and healing. She is also an experienced and trained clairvoyant. She teaches classes on belief systems and intuition at the Sandwich Community School. For more information on the incredible “Spiritual Regression” work mentioned by editor, Bob Olson, visit For more information on Nancy’s use of hypnotherapy to transform negative beliefs, visit Nancy can be emailed at: or call her at (508) 743-9545.

Five Things You Should Know Before Attending A Private Reading Or Medium Demonstration

Five Things You Should Know Before Attending A Private Reading Or Medium Demonstration

by Bob Olson

#1) Psychic mediums communicate with the spirit world.

The first thing you should know before going to a medium demonstration or private reading is that mediums are basically a human telephone to the spirit world—they communicate with spirits. Unfortunately, they are a telephone without a dial. They can’t just call up anyone from the spirit world with whom you want to talk. Instead, you get whoever is on the other end when the medium “links” with the spirit world.

#2) Spirits communicate with psychic mediums using four different methods.

The second thing you should know before going to a medium demonstration or private reading is that mediums can communicate with spirits in four different ways, or any combination of these four ways.

One, some mediums see spirits. Not every spirit chooses to show himself or herself to a medium who has this ability, but many of them do. If the medium can see spirits, part of the communication will be based on sight. A medium may see something in their mind’s eye (as an inner vision), or they may see spirits the way they see other people (as a physical manifestation, except the spirits are more ethereal, ghostly).

Two, some mediums can hear spirits. In this method, the spirits actually talk to the medium verbally. The medium may hear the communication in their mind (like hearing thoughts), or they may hear the spirit the way they would hear you or I talking to them. Unfortunately, some spirits are not the greatest communicators and what the medium actually hears may sound more like a faint radio station than a clear telephone signal. This is one reason why some readings are so detailed and accurate while others are sketchy. Just try talking to someone using a cheap set of walkie-talkies and you’ll experience what it’s like chatting with a weak communicator from the spirit world.

Three, some mediums receive messages telepathically, as an inner knowing or inner sensing. Messages are sent from the spirit’s mind to the medium’s mind, and vice versa. Here, the spirit might flash a picture or a word in the medium’s mind. Spirits have the ability to use the medium’s brain as a file cabinet, and they will search through that medium’s knowledge and experiences for ways to best communicate what they want to convey.

For example, if a spirit wants to give the medium the name Sandy, they might flash (in the medium’s mind) the face of a person whom the medium knows named Sandy. If they want to get the medium to say the word “coffee,” they might show the medium someone’s cat that had the name Coffee. This can be confusing and requires that the medium interpret what they are seeing in their mind. For instance, the medium might say cat rather than coffee; and to the person being read, the medium might appear wrong when the medium is actually just “misinterpreting” the message.

Four, some mediums get feelings or sensations in their body and mind, both physical and emotional. A spirit can make the medium feel sad if they are trying to convey the message of depression. Or they can make the medium’s lungs feel tight if they are trying to convey the message that someone had pneumonia or lung cancer. It is not uncommon that a medium will feel a painful sensation in the head if the spirit is trying to relay the message that there was a head trauma that caused death. This could be due to an auto accident or suicide (or any number of causes), so the spirit will also send another message—perhaps a telepathic picture of a smashed car—to complete the story for the medium.

#3) Everyone present has an effect on the clarity of the messages coming through.

The third thing you should know before going to a medium demonstration or private reading is that the person being read (the sitter), and anyone in the room (people attending the reading with the sitter or audience members in a demonstration), can affect the clarity of the messages.

In a reading, for instance, if you are skeptical, the messages might not be quite as clear as they could be if you were more open-minded. If you are fearful or angry, this low mental energy could inhibit the clarity of the messages. If you are on medication or abusing drugs or alcohol, your mental and emotional clarity could also affect the clarity of the messages.

Likewise, the entire audience can affect the clarity of the spirit communication at a medium demonstration. If the audience as a whole is very open, accepting and light-hearted, this helps the medium, as it would help any speaker on stage. If the audience as a whole is skeptical, apathetic or angry, this can negatively affect the medium, as it might affect any speaker in front of such a group. Spirit communication is about energy. If the energy in the room is low, it makes it more difficult for the medium to raise his or her energy to connect with spirit. If the energy is high, it can assist the medium to raise his or her energy.

We can all help mediums to have an extremely clear path while on stage, or in a private reading, by sending them our love and acceptance. Say a little prayer to help the medium receive perfect clarity in their communication. Don’t sit there with your arms folded and an angry look on your face. Lighten up. Relax. Have fun. One message that often comes through for people from their spirit-guides is that they need to lighten up—don’t be so serious! Many spirits have communicated to mediums that when they crossed-over to the spirit world and looked back at their life, they were regretful that they were so darn serious and didn’t have more fun while they were here.

#4) The medium only wants you to answer Yes, No or Maybe.

The fourth thing you should know before going to a medium demonstration or private reading is that during a reading—whether a three-minute reading or a one-hour reading—all you need to do is answer Yes, No or Maybe. You don’t need to do much talking during a reading. Let the medium do the talking. You are there to listen.

If what the medium says doesn’t make sense to you, just say you don’t know or don’t understand what they are talking about. Don’t try to make it fit! If the medium asks if you had a dog named Freckles, don’t say, “I had a cat named Mittens!” Don’t try to make the message fit if it doesn’t. The medium will figure out what the message means without you interpreting it yourself.

At the same time, if the medium says that Frances is here, and your mother’s name is Francine, don’t say you have no idea what they are talking about. Or if the medium says that your father is wearing a police uniform but your father wore a security uniform, remember that you don’t have to be a medium to mix that one up—anyone could make that mistake. Keep in mind that the clarity of communication may be more like an AM radio station than a telephone. Small inaccuracies are expected. Don’t hold the medium to exact measurements.

#5) Don’t feed the medium!

The fifth, and final, piece of advice I have for you before going to a medium demonstration or private reading is: “Don’t Feed The Medium!” If the medium tells you that your Uncle Charlie is present. Don’t blurt out, “Oh, my goodness, my Uncle Charlie was a police officer who lost his leg in the war and died two years ago in a car accident!” Let the medium tell you these things. If you offer that information yourself, then you miss out on the excitement and validation you could gain if the medium was about to tell you those details.


What To Expect From Your First And Second Readings With A Psychic Medium

What To Expect From Your First And Second Readings With A Psychic Medium

by Bob Olson

In most cases, the first reading with a psychic medium is used for overcoming skepticism and determining if the medium is genuine and legitimate. The second reading, and any future reading, is for obtaining more meaningful messages from your lost loved-ones and spirit-guides.

When I had my first reading with a psychic medium, I was suspicious of getting duped by another phony psychic. I had seen plenty of psychics in the past who gave me a whole lot of nothing. In most cases, I was told vague messages about love and good fortune in my future, as well as a few complimentary messages that built my ego and made me feel pleased about the reading and the psychic. Some people might be walking on clouds when they leave these quacks; but later, after they have had time to think about the messages with a little more clarity and distance, most of these people realize they got a pile of generalities with a few future details that can’t be proven for an unknown period of time. Hogwash!

A psychic medium’s job during your first reading is to provide you with evidence that he or she is genuine. You need to determine that this medium isn’t just some person who had read a book on developing their psychic abilities and figured it was a good way to make some extra grocery money. It took my first medium at least an hour of unmitigated evidence to convince me that my father and grandmother were truly there in the room with us (even though I couldn’t see them the way she did). In this hour, the medium gave me several names of my relatives and friends (dead and living), past memories (many of which I had forgotten), and detailed information about my life and the lives of people in my life.

This detailed information didn’t build up my ego. The psychic medium didn’t say anything about how wealthy or famous I was going to be. She was simply a stranger describing my life like she had known me since I was a little boy. Of course, it wasn’t her that knew this information; it was my grandmother and father in spirit who were relaying these family memories, including a few family secrets, through the medium to me.

My experience is not unlike the first readings of most people. Since most readings only last an hour, it is common that the majority of that time is spent on providing evidence and overcoming skepticism. Depending on your degree of skepticism and the clarity of the messages that come through, you may require more than a one-hour reading to overcome your suspicions.

Even the best mediums in the world have off days. After all, mediums are human, too. So there are several factors that will determine how many readings, or how many hours, it will take before you are convinced the medium is really communicating with your Uncle Barney from the other side. One of those factors is your own attitude (skepticism, openness, acceptance, fears) toward that medium and the messages coming through.

In most cases, however, your second reading will be easier for both you and the medium. It’s funny because when people get readings from more than one medium on my recommended psychic medium list, I hear a lot of people tell me that the second medium they went to was a lot better than the first. What is funny about this is that some people tell me that medium “A” was better than medium “B” and an equal number tell me that medium “B” was better than medium “A.”

My theory is that the first medium helped the person overcome their skepticism to a certain degree, but not fully. As a result, the person was much more open and accepting when he or she went to the second medium. It was their change in attitude, not the competency of the medium, that made their second reading so much better. To understand this with greater detail, read my article on The Five Things You Should Know Before Attending A Private Reading Or Medium Demonstration. That article explains how the client’s attitude can affect the clarity of the messages coming through to the medium.

Your experience with mediumship is a process. My first reading lasted three hours. That was a heap of information to have dumped on me in one sitting. I think most people would do better to have three one-hour sittings than one three-hour sitting. This would give you time to process the information and insights between readings without risking a mental meltdown. After a lifetime of wondering about the finality of death, it makes more sense to grow into the reality of an afterlife gradually.

If you are new to mediumship, plan on going to a medium more than once (it can be months or years apart if that is necessary). Expect the first reading to help you overcome your resistance to spirit communication. Don’t expect much in the way of meaningful messages if you have a lot of skepticism to plow through. Then, in the second reading, you can expect less evidence-building messages and more in the way of emotional healing—messages of forgiveness, insight into your loved-one’s condition in the spirit world, and messages of love and connectedness with people who have passed-on.

Spirit Writing For The Ungifted

Spirit Writing For The Ungifted

by Bob Olson

If you’re the type who can’t predict tomorrow’s date with a calendar in your hand, have never had a dream visitation from a deceased loved one, or wouldn’t recognize a sign from spirit if it knocked you over, Spirit Writing might be for you. Similar to Automatic Writing, but without the “automatic,” Spirit Writing is a method of communicating with spirits through writing (with a pen, keyboard, crayon or any writing tool you prefer).

I’d like to begin by telling you the story of how I began Spirit Writing myself, explain some of the lessons I learned along the way, and then I will teach you how to do this yourself in 7 simple steps.

I began my spiritual journey about five years ago as a stubborn cynical skeptic. In January of 1999, I stumbled upon a gifted psychic medium who basically blew my mind and turned my world upside down. The reading I had was so powerful that it convinced me to write my next book about mediumship. Of course, having been a skeptic all my life, I needed to do a lot of research and investigation before I was ready to begin writing. I didn’t complete the book until five years later.

Having met some extremely gifted spiritual practitioners during my five year research, I have realized that I might be the most ungifted person in the world. I’m sure that it doesn’t help that my tendency is toward skepticism until I can prove to myself that something is legitimate. Yet, this has been a concern of mine since I believe strongly that no one should become dependent upon another person for his or her spiritual connection. Hence, my search for a method that I could use to link with spirit on my own.

I finally found that method when I learned about a technique called Automatic Writing. In its most basic form, Automatic Writing involves sitting down with a pen and paper, or at your computer keyboard, and letting your hands and fingers begin writing messages from spirit automatically. This technique is directed toward those gifted few who are able to link with spirit so powerfully that spirit literally takes control of their hands and fingers and writes or types out these messages. As you might expect, I gave it a shot without any success; that is, my hands and fingers didn’t even twitch.

Teachers of automatic writing insist that persistence is the key to success; so I continued trying it fairly regularly. Nothing happened. I read that it helps to meditate with some relaxing music first; so I tried that too. Again, nothing. Then I learned that it can help to ask a question first and wait for an answer; so I asked a question and waited. Still, my hands seemed frozen in time.

I was beginning to give up, but someone told me that I should begin writing imaginary answers to my question as a way to get my hands moving. Then, if a connection with spirit takes place, the spirit can just take over the writing. So, one day, I decided to simply type the first thing that came into my mind so that I would have something to write. So, after typing out my question, I typed the first thoughts that popped into my head.

Interestingly, an answer to my question was right there at the forefront of my mind the second I asked the question. So I typed it into my computer. Then I typed out another question as if I were having a conversation with myself. And, once again, an answer popped into my head; so I typed it. What I realized was that I was typing frantically, faster than I could process the information. In other words, I was typing so fast that I didn’t have time to consciously think about and judge the answers I was writing. Instead, I was purely having fun with it. I wasn’t worrying about typos or mistakes; I just typed like a maniac.

Because I’ve always been the eternal skeptic, I felt a little disappointed when the voice I was hearing in my head was my own. And this made me doubt that what I was writing was coming from spirit. Yet I continued until I had a couple pages written just to see how it all came out. When I was done, I read what I had written. Cowabunga! This didn’t read like anything I had ever written before. In fact, it was too full of wisdom to be something I would ever write. It was slow and melodic in rhythm and tone. As you can see, my writing isn’t like that at all. So this got my attention and I continued to practice Spirit Writing two or three times a week.

One day, I was working with a psychic medium I was working with for my book on mediumship, and I told her about my automatic writing, that is, without the automatic part. This is when I began calling it Spirit Writing, since my hands and fingers were not typing automatically. The medium immediately told me that my uncle was in the room claiming to be the one who was coming through in these writings. Now this uncle had never come through in a reading before so the medium knew nothing about him. I was skeptical, as always, so I tested the medium. I said, “If this is really my uncle, you’re going to have to prove it to me. There is something about my uncle that identifies him specifically, something you could never guess. If you can tell me what that is, I’ll believe that it’s him coming through in my Spirit Writing.”

Sure enough, the medium guessed that my uncle had a tattoo on his foot. So I was given the evidence that I needed that indicated to me that my Spirit Writing was truly coming from spirit, not just from my own mind.

For the ungifted, especially people like me who spent most of their life as a skeptic, trusting that your Spirit Writing is really coming from spirit is the hardest part. Since our hands and fingers are not moving on their own, developing this trust is even harder than learning how to do it. It takes practice, testing and a whole lot of faith. But eventually you realize that there is no way that you could be writing this stuff. For me, I realized that there is too much wisdom coming through in these writings. If I had this incredible insight inside of me, I wouldn’t need to be Spirit Writing.

So here are the 7 Simple Steps for Spirit Writing:

  1. Sit down with a pen and paper, or at your computer. You can also use a crayon, marker or a piece of chalk if you want—whatever writing tool you enjoy most.
  2. Write down a question that you would like answered. It can be about a relationship, your career, or health—wherever you need some guidance.
  3. Some people like to begin with a prayer of intent and protection. Pray to your Source or spirit guides that only “advanced, higher-energy beings who are in the light and love of God” come through in your Spirit Writing.
  4. Relax and/or meditate for ten or fifteen minutes. Listen to a meditation CD or audiotape, if you have one. What I like about using music to relax is that I use the same music all the time, so my mind knows that I’m going to be Spirit Writing the second I turn it on, which immediately sends me into the right state of mind. If you listen to your music with headphones, it also helps to block out distractions.
  5. When you are ready, ask your question. You can read it out loud or silently to yourself.
  6. Now begin typing the very first thoughts that come into your mind. Do not hesitate. Do not judge or consciously think about what answer you are getting. Just try to write or type as fast as you can to record the answer. And don’t worry about typing mistakes, misspellings or any errors; just keep writing. Also, it doesn’t matter if you do this with your eyes open or closed. That’s a personal preference. Try it both ways and see what you prefer. And, finally, don’t expect it to be someone else’s voice in your head. The thoughts are “inspired” by spirit, not spoken in the spirit’s voice.
  7. If you are having trouble when you try Spirit Writing for the first time, just make up an answer. Write what you think a higher being might say to you if they were giving you advice on your question. You might be surprised to recognize that what you are making up is actually inspired guidance.

Here are some further tips to help you:

  1. Answers from spirit will always be loving in nature, never having a tone of being hurtful, vengeful or negative. This doesn’t mean you will always like the advice being given, but the advice will be for good, not bad.
  2. Don’t ask for choices. Spirit won’t make decisions for you. Instead, ask for advice and guidance. This means avoiding yes or no questions. Since we all have freewill, spirit can only lead us toward the best choice, not tell us what choice to make.
  3. Don’t test your guides or loved ones in spirit by asking details of which you already know the answer. Spirit Writing is a sacred experience and should be treated as such.
  4. To get over your skepticism or lacking trust in the process, a third-party practitioner such as a medium, psychic or meditation teacher might be able to help you at the beginning, like when the medium told me my uncle was coming through in my Spirit Writing. But the point of this exercise is to learn how to communicate with spirit on your own, without having to rely on a third-party practitioner, so don’t become dependent upon someone else for your Spirit Writing.
  5. Don’t think that you need to know who is coming through in your Spirit Writing. It’s the advice and guidance that matters, not always who is giving it. Sometimes, it might even be more than one spirit. So don’t get caught up in the “who,” because it’s the guidance that matters. Some people like to think that the messages coming through are from their “Higher Self.” As long as you say your prayer of intent and protection, only advanced, higher-energy beings will be coming through.
  6. In my experience, Spirit Writing is a personal experience. While you might be able to connect with your friend’s spirits after you get good at this, I believe it is better to teach your friend how to do this on their own, rather than have them rely upon you for all their spirit communication.
  7. Some people like to begin Spirit Writing for a set period of time, ten or twenty minutes. If this fits your personality, or if you only have a limited amount of time to do it, set an alarm so that you aren’t looking at the clock or worrying about the time.
  8. Think ahead to avoid interruptions. Ask people not to interrupt you for twenty minutes. Use the bathroom if necessary. Unplug the phone. Anticipate noises and potential interruptions that will disrupt your Spirit Writing, and do your best to avoid them.
  9. Try to do your Spirit Writing at the same time each day. Not only will your mind be better prepared, but your loved ones in spirit and spirit guides will know that every day at ten o’clock is when you’ll be doing this.
  10. After a Spirit Writing session, don’t read what you’ve written immediately. If you can, put it aside for a few hours, or even a day, before reading it. And have someone else read it to you so you can more easily recognize that it doesn’t sound like your voice or writing, provided you don’t mind that person reading your private messages. You will be amazed at how different your Spirit Writing reads in comparison to your normal voice and writing style.

As with everything, practice makes perfect. The key here is to keep doing this regularly for at least 30 days. If it isn’t for you after a month, then maybe it isn’t for you. However, I haven’t taught this to one person who hasn’t experienced incredible results. And, with practice, it just keeps getting better.

This article resulted from a chat seminar Bob Olson was invited to do on James Van Praagh’s website. For more information about James Van Praagh’s chat seminars,